Episode 6: Difficult Conversations - Building Trust Through Conflict

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Research shows that 70% of managers avoid tough conversations. Not because they don't care. Not because they're bad leaders. Because nobody ever taught them how.

So they avoid performance issues. They work around interpersonal conflicts. They drop hints instead of being direct. And the problems multiply.

Here's what they don't realize: The conversation you're avoiding isn't going away. It's just getting harder. And the relationship you're trying to protect by avoiding it? It's being damaged by the avoidance itself.

In this episode, Dr. Kelvin Thomas introduces the Clear, Curious, Caring framework—a practical approach to having difficult conversations that actually build trust instead of destroying it.

What You'll Learn:

✅ Why we avoid difficult conversations and the hidden psychological and organizational costs of avoidance

✅ What's happening in your brain during conflict and how to manage your nervous system so you can stay present and effective

✅ The Clear, Curious, Caring Framework that makes tough conversations productive instead of punitive:

• CLEAR: How to be direct without being brutal
• CURIOUS: How to seek understanding instead of building your case
• CARING: How to hold people accountable with compassion

✅ Real conversation examples you can adapt for performance issues, interpersonal conflicts, and attitude/behavior challenges

✅ The neuroscience of difficult conversations and why your best intentions often go sideways when emotions activate

Why This Matters:

When that team member was consistently late, Rachel kept working around it—adjusting schedules, having others cover, dropping hints. She thought she was being kind and avoiding conflict.

But her avoidance created three bigger problems: constant stress for her, loss of respect from reliable team members, and the late employee never getting a chance to improve.

That unaddressed conversation was costing more than having it ever would.

Dr. Kelvin shares his own experience transitioning from avoidance to direct communication, including the moment a colleague thanked him for "caring enough to be direct" after he finally had the conversation he'd been dreading.

Your Weekly Challenge:

Pick one conversation you've been avoiding. Use the Clear, Curious, Caring framework to:

• Get CLEAR on the specific behavior and impact
• Prepare CURIOUS questions that seek understanding
• Connect to CARING by remembering why this person and situation matters

Then have the conversation this week. Notice what happens when you approach conflict with both honesty and compassion.

This Episode is Perfect For:

Leaders who avoid difficult conversations, managers dealing with performance or attitude issues, anyone who wants to address problems without destroying relationships, leaders who've had tough conversations go badly and don't know why, teams experiencing unresolved conflicts.

What You'll Walk Away With:

• A proven framework for difficult conversations (Clear, Curious, Caring)
• Scripts you can adapt for common scenarios
• Understanding of why conversations go sideways and how to prevent it
• Confidence to address issues directly instead of hoping they'll improve
• The ability to build trust through honest conversations

About the Host: Dr. Kelvin Thomas has had difficult conversations across retail, higher education, and corporate environments. He knows what it's like to avoid them, to have them go badly, and to finally learn how to navigate conflict in ways that strengthen rather than damage relationships. He brings both the psychology and th